Target’s ‘Child’s Play’ Onesie for Grown-Ups Is the Scariest Halloween Costume This Year
Halloween season is officially upon us, and as usual, the most wonderful time of the year (don’t @ me) brings with it a veritable variety pack of tricks and treats. Treats: Scary movies, fun makeup, awkward parties, so much candy! Tricks: Terrible costumes, ranging from “Sexy Handmaid’s Tale” (no really, someone tried to make that happen) to this abomination inspired by horror movie classic Child’s Play, courtesy of Target.
Where do you even begin with this thing? I MEAN. Okay, first of all, this is an adult onesie — which, credit where credit is due, is actually a comfy and economical way to approach being lazy on Halloween. Whereas most costumes are thrown out or donated or buried in a box in the back of the closet after being worn only once, onesies are also pajamas and thus can be worn anytime. It’s like when you put pizza on a bagel, ya know?
Anyhow. The onesie element is not the issue here. The issue, as anyone privileged to have at least one working eyeball can see, is that this costume is hideous. It looks like it is clearly made from that cheapy material they use for most kids costumes — the flimsy-ass kind where the interior of the fabric is scratchy and it makes your skin itch, and your nails are always getting caught in it somehow. And if you have dry feet or elbows, just friggin’ forget it.
There’s also no texture to this “costume.” The overalls and striped shirt are printed on the fabric itself, much like the “mask.” And now we come to the piece de resistance of this whole horrendous endeavor: Chucky’s face, printed on this weird, thin sack of fabric with a Troll doll-esque fringe of orange hair sewn into the top. And you’re supposed to stick this over your head and call it a night, I guess?
Also, and I know this is maybe a weird nitpick — why is the adult human model in the above photo not wearing any shoes? I get that it’s a onesie, so it is technically pajamas. HOWEVER, you cannot expect me or any reasonable person to believe that this guy is going to bed with a Chucky face fabric sack on his head. Unless he’s super wasted and he just face-planted into bed like that. Which also might explain the hair?
Clearly I am not the only one who finds this design incredibly effective because the “Men’s Child’s Play Chucky Union Suit” is “temporarily out of stock” (in every size!) on the Target website.