Some would call it a family tradition, while others might say it was a definite sign that my family is more-than-a-little in need of therapy, but about a decade ago my brothers and I stopped giving each other real gifts for the holidays. Nossir, nothing serious. Just joke gifts. Why, who could have predicted that one day I would be the proud owner of a hot dog toaster? Or that my youngest brother (if one can still be the youngest at 60), Bill, would receive a wine bottle opener that measured over four feet tall?

But this Christmas, my brothers teamed up and extracted a measure of holiday gift revenge heretofore unseen. And it involved a gift that I still wish I hadn't...seen, that is.

Yep, lucky me. I now have a Bogeyman Snot Nosed Egg White Separator.

But why should I describe this obvious million-dollar idea, when I can quote from the official "snot-nosed" website:

"If you're looking for the most disgusting way to separate your egg yolks from your egg whites, look no further. The Bogeyman, as so he's called is a ceramic coffee mug-looking device that allows you to easily separate your egg whites from the yolks by straining it through his nostrils. Not only is quite disgusting, but there's just something quite satisfying about watching the goopy egg whites slowly make their way through his nostrils. You almost get that same refreshing feeling after emptying your own nostrils while you have a plugged-up nose."

So, as I look for a silver lining in this dark cloud of holiday giftery, one bright thought comes to mind: The re-gift! And best of all, one of my beloved brothers has a birthday March.



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