The 10 Commandments of Mardi Gras
As we gear up for Mardi Gras 2023, we all know there ain't no place to pee on Mardi Gras day. But, when it comes to Mardi Gras, what else don't we know? Don't sweat it, because here are your "10 Commandments of Mardi Gras".
Little tiny plastic beads take on a magical and strange value during Mardi Gras. When you see someone standing next to you with better beads, don't be mad or envious. Get creative, put in some work and things will start going your way.
Look, we all want good beads, but DO NOT take from, or fight a kid for them. The same goes for cups, toys, and whatnot. Just let them have it.
It's tough to find a place to use the bathroom on Mardi Gras. There are hundreds of Port-A-Potties along the parade routes, and the lines can get a little crazy. However, don't cut in line. It's rude and will probably start an argument or worse. Try and plan a little better for line time.
Getting hit in the face with Mardi Gras beads is painful. Getting hit in the eyes with Mardi Gras beads is even worse. If you catch some beads you don't like, just give them to someone else or leave them on the ground for someone who might want them. Please please please, don't throw them back at anyone. You could permanently ruin someone's eyesight.
When it comes to beads, only wear dry ones. Why? You don't know why the heck they're wet or what they're wet from. Could be beer, toilet water, pee, or vomit. Seriously...just don't.
Mardi Gras is a marathon, not a sprint. OK, it's actually kind of like a sprint-filled marathon. This being said, pace yourself with your drinking. When you open your first beer at 8 o'clock in the morning, keep in mind you've still got 7 or 8 hours of Mardi Gras to go. Slow and steady wins the race, and drink a bottle of water every couple of beers or so.
This goes for your float or your spot on the route. Mardi Gras in Lafayette is different than New Orleans. There are kids everywhere joining in the fun. Don't be the float blasting music with bad language. If you're a business with a float, is this really the message you want to send to thousands and thousands of potential customers?
As soon you read that you heard these blasting in your head, didn't you? Yes, the kids are going to want them. Mine always do. However, if it can be avoided, just don't buy them. Everyone around you, and the marching bands will thank you for it.
It's real easy to forget, but people actually live along the parade routes. Have a great time, but when you're done, clean your area and pick up your trash. People's front yards, neighborhoods, and businesses are not your personal dumpsters. And, no the city is not going to clean it all up. Be cool and leave your area better than you found it.
Finding a place to wash your hands, or wash your kid's hands on Mardi Gras will be just as difficult as finding a place to pee. The last thing you want to do is eat with the same hands you caught beads and opened Port-A-Potties with. Pack some hand sanitizer and wipes in your Mardi Gras survival kit and make everything much, much better.