Poor Frederic Austin. Austin was the 18th century English composer who penned the original lyrics to the Holiday classic, "The 12 Days of Christmas." And we refer to Mr. Austin as "poor" because, no matter how many different versions of his original, no matter the thousands of rewrites, there's never been one quite like this. KEEL's Erin McCarty attempt (loosely speaking, of course) at her own rendering.

On the first day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
A pelican in a Pastry
On the second day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the third day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the fourth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the fifth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the sixth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
6 kings cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the seventh day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the eighth day of Christmas
my true love gave to me:
8 boat ramps open
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the ninth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
9 jackpots winning
8 boat ramps open
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the tenth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
10 Great Raft cold ones
9 jackpots winning
8 boat ramps open
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the eleventh day of Christmas
my true love sent to me:
11 pothole puddles
10 Great Raft cold ones
9 jackpots winning
8 boat ramps open
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry
On the twelfth day of Christmas
my true love sent to me
a dozen roses blooming
11 pothole puddles
10 Great Raft cold ones
9 jackpots winning
8 boat ramps open
7 duck pond outings
6 tasty king cakes
5 crawfish boils
4 Cajun daiquiris
3 shrimp busters
2 gator teeth
and a pelican in a pastry

States Where Americans Don't Want to Live Any More